Sunday, September 25, 2011

Youtube Script

FADE IN                                                          
                                                                           
                                                                           
          INT. POLICE STATION OFFICE DAY                                   
                                                                           
          ALLEN GAMBLE sits at his desk and types on his computer.         
                                                                           
          As he is typing, TERRY HOITZ enters the room.                    
                                                                           
                              TERRY HOITZ                                  
                    Do you know what I just did?                           
                                                                           
          Allen Gamble stops typing                                        
                                                                           
                              TERRY HOITZ                                  
                    I just walked out that door, saw a                     
                    couple detectives, and I was about                     
                    to start bad mouthing you behind                       
                    your back, but i stopped myslef                        
                    because my pops taught me that a                       
                    man that talks behind somebodys                        
                    back, is a coward.                                     
                                                                           
                              ALLEN GAMBLE                                 
                    Wow, i actually appreciate that                        
                                                                           
                              TERRY HOITZ                                  
                    Good, because im going to tell you                     
                    directly to your face.                                 
                                                                           
                              ALLEN GAMBLE                                 
                         (Quietly)                                         
                         No, you don’t have too                            
                                                                           
                              TERRY HOITZ                                  
                    I don’t like you.  I think you’re a                    
                    fake cop.  The sound of your piss                      
                    hitting the urinal, it sounds                          
                    feminine.                                              
                                                                           
                              ALLEN GAMBLE                                 
                    Mmm                                                    
                                                                           
                              TERRY HOITZ                                  
                    If we were in the wild,i would                         
                    attack you.  Even if you wern’t in                     
                    my food chain, i would go out of my                    
                    way to attack you.  If i were a                        
                    lion and you were a tuna, i would                      
                    swin out to the middle of the ocean                    
                    and i would freaking eat you!  And                     
                    then i’d bang your tuna girlfriend.                    
                                                                  
ALLEN GAMBLE                                 
                    Ok, first off, a lion?  Swimming in                    
                    the ocean?  Lions don’t like                           
                    water.  If you’d placed it near a                      
                    river or some fresh water source,                      
                    that would make sense.  But you                        
                    find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot                    
                    wave, i’m assuming it’s off the                        
                    coast of South Africa, coming up                       
                    against a full grown 800 pound                         
                    tuna, with his twenty or thirty                        
                    friends?  You lose that                                
                    battle.  You lose that battle nine                     
                    times out of ten.  And guess                           
                    what?  You’ve wandered into our                        
                    school of tuna, and we now have a                      
                    taste of lion.  We’ve talked to                        
                    ourselves.  we’ve communicated.                        
                                                                           
                              TERRY HOITZ                                  
                    Yeah?                                                  
                                                                           
                              ALLEN GAMBLE                                 
                      And said, you know what, lion                        
                    tastes good!  Lets go get some more                    
                    lion.  We’ve developed a system, to                    
                    establish a beach head, and                            
                    aggressivly hunt you and your                          
                    family.  And we will corner your,                      
                    your pride, your childeren, your                       
                    offspring.                                             
                                                                           
                              TERRY HOITZ                                  
                    How you gonna do that?                                 
                                                                           
                              ALLEN GAMBLE                                 
                    We will construct a series of                          
                    breathing aparatus with kelp.  We                      
                    will be able to trap certain                           
                    amounts of oxygen.  It’s not going                     
                    to be days at a time.  An hour,                        
                    hour fourty five, no problem.  That                    
                    will give us enough time to figure                     
                    out where you live, go back to the                     
                    sea, get more oxygen, and then                         
                    stalk you.  You just lost at your                      
                    own game, you are outgunned and                        
                    outmanned.                                             
                                                                           
          Awkward pause                                                    
                                                                           
          Allen Gamble resumes typing                                      
                                                                           
         
ALLEN GAMBLE                                 
                    Did that go the way you thought it                     
                    was gonna go?                                          
                                                                           
          Allen shakes head                                                
                    Nope                                                   
                                                                           
          Terry dumps hot coffee on Allen.                                 
                                                                           
          Allen screams as Terry exits the room.                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
          FADE OUT                                                         
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           

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